A (Queer) Practice of Unlearning & Transforming
aka How to Get as Comfortable as Possible in / with The Unknown
One privilege we (Crystal Mason and Jason Wyman) share is being Queer of gender and sexuality. This privilege is a core part of both of our identities, and it has shaped (and still shapes) how we move and make meaning of this world (and our place(s) within it.) At its core is a deep curiosity about who we are, how we know or believe what we know or believe, and who we want to become. The privilege therewithin is an orientation towards unlearning, a commitment to transforming, and, ultimately, comfort with / in The Unknown.
This is apparent in our work and praxis over the past decade. Our first co-creation was A Feast of Dreams at the Red Poppy Art House, which gathered an intergenerational, multi-disciplinary community of trans, queer, and non-binary artists. It was spurred by two things. One was a combination of loss and grief mixed with the election of Trump in 2016, which was clouding visions, dreams, and futures (Crystal.) The other was an artist-in-residency integrating personal artistic and healing practices into the overall cultivation and development of the Red Poppy Art House through the production of small feasts that engage culturally-specific communities (Jason.) To conjure our Feast, we began with conversation rooted in inquiry: Who are we? Who are we gathering? How are we gathering? Why? What is culturally significant or important to us, individually and collectively? How does this all become reality in ways that affirm and reinforce who we want, need, and desire to be?
We did not anticipate where we might go. Instead, we conversed, and we allowed ourselves, each other, and our path to be changed by the stories, truths, dreams, and realities shared between us. As a result, this Feast became a seed, which we have cultivated into our Tree of Change, a Praxis of Culture Tending.
Recently, we’ve noticed in our work with our clients and our extended, intersectional communities a need for ways to question what is being forced down our throats so we may better discern actions, behaviors, and values that can carry us towards more liberatory futures. Unlearning and transforming are critical skills that have aided us on our paths (personally and collectively) towards liberation, so we took time at the end of 2025 to reflect upon our own decade of co-creation and discern / articulate a Queer Practice of Unlearning and Transforming. In other words, how we (try to) remain as comfortable as possible in / with The Unknown.
Below are Six Guides that distill a decade of co-creation into an order / process that broadly articulates our praxis. These are not rules. Nor are they etched in stone. Rather, our Six Guides reflect a specific moment in time (December 2025 to January 2026) where we are looking both backwards and forwards. We believe they may offer insight for others, like us, who are currently facing immense change within our institutions, social programs, communities, neighborhoods, families, streets, formations, and movements.
The Unknown is Present, and in The Unknown Power-Over tries its best to dominate Us All. An antidote to Power-Over is to cultivate Power-With. So please read, reflect, adapt, adopt, edit, and iterate upon these Six Guides. Don’t just swallow them whole. What affirms your understanding? What challenges you? What do you reject outright? What did we miss? What are your own Guides to Unlearning and Transforming?
Six Guides for Unlearning & Transforming
Ground in Humility, Curiosity, and Care. Center Intersectionality, Complexity, and Pluralism.
Admit that I don’t know everything about everyone, even people I consider to be in my community.
Be able to hold multiple things as true, or letting go of “The One True Story.”
Ask, “Is there something that I am missing?”
Read, study, grapple with the words and works of others who have also (and already) grapple(ed) with similar things, issues, politics, movements.
Acknowledge Assumptions (aka Bias). Write Them Down.
Name and notice how your access(es) to privilege and power shape your understanding and experiences of privilege and power.
Acknowledge that what I / you thought I / you knew or believed might be ill-informed.
Write down what you think should happen. Then, tear it up and throw it away.
Create Structures, Processes, and Tactics to Surface Contradictions. Collect Inputs, Information, and Feedback.
Test assumptions with trusted friends, beloveds, and comrades.
Identify who is historically / systematically left out and create culturally-specific mechanisms for inclusion and involvement.
Create opportunities for feedback (such as one-on-ones, surveys, small group conversations, opening / closing circles, etc.).
Notice Resistances and Contradictions. Recognize Personal Reactions.
Frequently check in with your body. How is your breathing? Have you eaten? Where might there be tension? What can you do, if anything, in the moment to notice feelings, senses, and sensations?
Bring awareness (and try to keep at bay judgement) to dissonances, discomforts, conflicts, contradictions, harms.
Remain open to communicating what is surfacing even when you might not have all the words or understanding.
Ask, How Does Emerging Data, Stories, and Experiences Strengthen, Reinforce, Challenge, or Undermine Your Assumptions? Shift from Reacting to Reflecting to Incorporating to Adapting.
Use visualization / dreaming to imagine where new information, stories, data, or experiences could fit into, expand, or change your current understandings, worldview, or beliefs.
Shift goals, outcomes, priorities, strategies, and directions based on emerging data, stories, and experiences.
Reflect on whose stories and experiences have been prioritized, centered, or included. Acknowledge gaps between intended audiences / groups and present realities. Make a plan to address those gaps.
Write a New Narrative, One That Unflattens Perspectives, Affirms Cultural Nuances, and More Accurately Reflects Our Multidimensional World(s).
Remember all stories start with a single sentence. And some are even only a sentence.
Embrace all forms of media, art, and communication that meets people where they are to tell stories that reveal and affirm multiple perspectives.
Celebrate change as movement towards desired futures that is made present by Us All, here and now.
Thursdays Are for Queers & Comrades at 465 Collective
Thursdays are for Queers & Comrades at 465 Collective, located at 465 SVN in Yelamu / San Francisco. Every Thursday from 5:30pm to 7:30pm we have Queer Art Club taking over the back gallery for loosely coordinated art activities and lots of supplies on hand to do your own thing. Then every week from 7pm to 9pm we have a different Club taking over the Lounge for some casual peer arts, culture, and political education. It’s for the whole queer & trans & nonbinary family!